Starting out on a romantic vacation, or treading water hoping someone will notice?

Twas the Saturday before Christmas

Twas the Saturday before Christmas and family was arriving They came by plane and train and some were driving Who would sleep where and in what bed As visions of laundry danced in my head Menus need planning and groceries bought And it was all taking much consideration and thought How to entertain children and parents alike I wanted to send them all on a very long hike Aromas arose from food that was cooking And ooohs and aahs from kids who were looking Under the tree where presents were lurking While I seasoned and brined a ginormous turkey We gathered together after the children were asleep Snug in beds, they dreamt with not even a peep Grownups relaxed and sipped their libations And

'Twas the Friday before Christmas

Twas the Friday before Christmas and everything was hopping As usual the husbands were just starting their shopping The kids had buried the Elf on the Shelf Which the dog then dug up to keep for himself Grocery shoppers pushed loaded carts at full speed, Not noticing they’d missed the one thing they’d need The streets were a madhouse and horns honked nonstop Weary teachers went home and collapsed with a plop Cats climbed Christmas trees and caused mayhem Then sat and dared anyone to punish them Pretty packages all tied up with ribbon and bow Were hidden where kids weren’t supposed to know The children proved that was a waste of time And hastily rewrapped them to hide the crime And mom in her

And Sow It Goes

We spend the first twenty or thirty years of our lives in the spring. Watching an infant grow into a child is like seeing the first bright green tips emerge in the dark loam of a garden – what will they become? Like sunflowers reaching higher as they follow the sun, children bloom into teenagers. Trouble is out there, though. A hailstorm can beat the young leaves and stems, too little water or love can stunt their growth. An early freeze can set you back so far you’re not sure you’ll ever recover. Late spring as young adults and parents is full of sudden outbursts and stormy days. Mud can bog you down, but a fresh rain can wash away your problems. All the while life around you is vig

Steps for Cooking a 26 pound Turkey in a Microwave (yes, it's actually possible)

Step #1 Have a mother who bakes homemade sweet rolls. When last batch is done, she will feel woozy from sugar overload and turn off oven, then go to bed. Step #2 Husband puts turkey in oven. Step #3 Check on turkey an hour before it’s due to be done. Find stone cold turkey in turned off oven. Step #4 Staunch panic attack with a round of hot buttered rums. Step #5 Stuff turkey into microwave. Spend twenty minutes trying to figure out how to use probe and program microwave to use it. Read instructions for internal temperature in miniscule, wrinkled text from turkey wrapper dug out of trash (shake off coffee grounds first). Step #6 Have another round of hot buttered rums as you contemplat

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